#1 - Essay In July : What makes you the happiest in your everyday life?

01.16 Diva Beshia 0 Comments

Okay, this writings might sounds cliché, but as cliché as it sounds it’s just hit me. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but on my way home from work, I contemplated myself on many things. FYI, I don’t do that much LOL, but somehow… the thought crossed my mind.

It’s around a week ago, where I’m dead tired because I spent the day with my family. I stared at a ceiling in my bedroom and out of the blue I asked ‘what is happiness, exactly?’

I knew happiness could came in many forms. But what it is exactly that makes you the happiest in your trivial day of life?

Well, that night, I realized one thing.

Small things matters.

It’s when my cousin asked me to played with her and (again, as cliché as it sounds) she held my hand so tight. It felt like she won’t let go of mine, as if I were going to be gone soon. So I asked her “why do you hold my hands like this? I won’t go anywhere.” The answer is simple but my hearts thumping as she whispered to my ears “because you’re going to work again soon, right? I can’t hold your hand again, at least now I can.”

For god’s sake, she’s 3 years old. And she appreciated things better than I do.

It’s when I got home after playing all day with my lil cousin, my mom asked me “I’ll go to the market tomorrow. You just gotta list all the food you want, I’ll make it all for you.”

It’s when I got a chat from my coworkers. She’s like one of the funniest person I have known all my life LOL. She sent me a pic of her (I know it’s so trivial) but the caption is “I miss the girl from East Borneo” and it hits me hard. I’m not a typical friend that would express my emotion through chats or even say “I miss you” or giving a surprise to my bf’s bday but that one time I realized “yeah, I miss her too. I should said to her” as I usually just ignore that kind of chats, unknowingly I find myself replying to her “awww, that’s super sweet, I miss you too” heck LOL who is this again???

It’s a wrinkle on the corner of my grandpa’s smile the day I arrived at home, bought him his daily necessities. He thanked me with a deep warm voice, wishing me to always be healthy and may I always meet a fine human being in my life. Damn… I feel like I choked on water I didn’t drink. It’s a simple wish and a simple gift for him, yet he thanked me with such a sincere wish. I couldn’t even repay 0,00000001% of his kindness and everything he did in my life… I wish I could talked more with him, like we used to back then when I was still beyond my 20’s.

I really miss talking with him.

I really miss debating with him on certain topics; I don’t care if it’s him telling me to always be tidy, clean the table right after we finished eating, wear sandals even inside the house, or simply reminding me to always learn and be brave in everything.

I really miss his philosophy thoughts in life.

Heck, I even miss his nagging.

I feel like I, myself, made a distance unknowingly from him because I’m too busy with my own life and my goals. I feel really stupid.

He’s truly a blessing in my life. The most family oriented man, ever.

It’s when I got a chat from my high school best friend. Telling me unimportant stuff he/she got from twitter. But I still have a very good laugh even though the topics are very random and we haven’t met like… idk… it’s been ages now. The type of friends who wouldn’t irritates if you sent them cheesy jokes and will get along in an instance, being stupid together until dawn. The type of friends who would accept and be okay even if you act crazy…. oh wait, I guess they’re crazier than me LOL. The type of friends who will stick no matter how much the distance tear us apart, they always have time to reached me. Me, someone who sucks putting my feelings into words. Me, who always too ignorant.

It’s when in my spare time, I made a fanart for Soo and he likes it on instagram LOL. Always being the sweetest boy~ always spend his time communicating with his fans through voice broadcast, chats (heck, he even replied our chats, isn’t he the sweetest?) and videos. Despite a tight schedule, still did many donations (which made me pissed of myself, I mean… if he could do it, why couldn’t I? I have too many reasons and hold back from my to-do-list this year in the sake of ‘busy working life’ as an excuse hhhhh)

It’s when I gathered with my big family, just slacking off the day and cooking together to have a feast at home.

Long story short, small things matters.

Happiness for me come in the shape of small things.

And I should appreciate and cherish them more in my daily trivial life, there’s always a glimpse of happiness within.